Why Am I Not Cold?

Because I'm fat.
Dammit.

Visiting my best friend in Flagstaff during my spring break. It's been snowing and I'm not as cold as I could be. I'm not skipping meals like I should be.

Wanting a lower number on the scale, and more layers of clothing necessary to stay warm.

Yesterday we went to Oregano's and I ordered a salad. Dowsed in oil and olives and raisins it must have been at least as large as my midsection (huge) and 500 calories minimum. Then we went to self-serve frozen yogurt for dinner. and poured peanut butter on top. At least 700cal.

Why can't I keep away from this food?

I don't even know my weight.
Last I checked, I bound back up to 143.2.

Awful. Awful. Awful.
I need the rest of my body to follow the lead of my joints; Thin, bony, almost broken, perpetually cold.
It's a false sense of accomplishments when I look down at my hands, feet, ankles.

And then the thighs...the boobs...the cheeks. Bloated.
---
BINGE BINGE BINGE BINGE
Gummy bears (130cal for 15), ate a ga-jillion (75, 650cal)
Bamba peanut butters puffs (150 cal for one bag) ate two bags (2, 300cal)
and so many cough drops(1 drop, 12 cal), I can only guess at how many I've devoured (20, 240cal).

650+300+240=1190
basically 1200cal.
WHO EATS THAT FUCKING MUCH?!

I planned on doing good today, until those bears. And their temptation. And my lack of self control.
Tomorrow I'm really going to have to focus; ABC Diet is starting up again, I might put it as the background on my phone.

Who wants to join in? Email me, and let's get skinny.

~alexana, (∞)lbs
Let's feel our ribs from behind our backs, and our spines leading to a valley of between our shoulders.